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Do you think this a good idea
WTF, no way 33%  33%  [ 14 ]
always knew Tolkien was wrong, let him come 5%  5%  [ 2 ]
This is a joke or a typo right? 63%  63%  [ 27 ]
Total votes : 43
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 3:38 pm 
Kinsman
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Words of truth :-D

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:18 pm 
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Captain Ingold wrote:
Lord Hurin wrote:
Who the bloody hell voted for the second option?


I bet you did. :lol: Why else would you care?




How come Saruman didn't use any cannons? Then he could wait and get hydrogen bombs, and hit Minas Tirith and destroy Anorien.
Then they'd realise that the Tower of Ecthelion is actually an enormous missile, which would fire at Mount Orodruin. Then the'd fire Orthanc AND Barad-Dur, causing immense Middle-Earth-wide destruction. The Shire, however, would have some biological weapon and use it to kill off everyone who isn't a hobbit, and they would spread everywhere before overcrowding, and eventually using up all the food and oxygen in the world.

The End.


Don't you just love a happy ending? (or at least one without hobbitses, precious? :gollum: )


Epilogue:
It turned out that the hobbits never discovered Gollum's cave, and he came out and had the world to himself. Yay.

Then the Germans invaded Middle-earth using Blitzkrieg! :lol: And of course after that the Soviet army joined with the Moria Goblins and together they stormed the stronghold of Great Zimbabue. So the Hobbits joined the Germans and founded the 1st Hobbit Panzer division while chaos space marines landed in Valinor (WTF????). :roll:
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:58 pm 
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Padelis of Numenor wrote:
Captain Ingold wrote:


How come Saruman didn't use any cannons? Then he could wait and get hydrogen bombs, and hit Minas Tirith and destroy Anorien.
Then they'd realise that the Tower of Ecthelion is actually an enormous missile, which would fire at Mount Orodruin. Then the'd fire Orthanc AND Barad-Dur, causing immense Middle-Earth-wide destruction. The Shire, however, would have some biological weapon and use it to kill off everyone who isn't a hobbit, and they would spread everywhere before overcrowding, and eventually using up all the food and oxygen in the world.

The End.


Don't you just love a happy ending? (or at least one without hobbitses, precious? :gollum: )


Epilogue:
It turned out that the hobbits never discovered Gollum's cave, and he came out and had the world to himself. Yay.

Then the Germans invaded Middle-earth using Blitzkrieg! :lol: And of course after that the Soviet army joined with the Moria Goblins and together they stormed the stronghold of Great Zimbabue. So the Hobbits joined the Germans and founded the 1st Hobbit Panzer division while chaos space marines landed in Valinor (WTF????). :roll:

After a while the cold-war started, with the secret police(eye of sauron and the cats of beruthiel)
and well, cause it was the cold war, the rangers of the north invented global warming(north is always cold). and the balrogs werent happy because of global warming they didnt have a jog anymore(they are flame-demons after all). so the balrogs werent happy and started to bomb everyone.
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 6:02 pm 
Elven Warrior
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BaruKhazad wrote:
Padelis of Numenor wrote:
Captain Ingold wrote:


How come Saruman didn't use any cannons? Then he could wait and get hydrogen bombs, and hit Minas Tirith and destroy Anorien.
Then they'd realise that the Tower of Ecthelion is actually an enormous missile, which would fire at Mount Orodruin. Then the'd fire Orthanc AND Barad-Dur, causing immense Middle-Earth-wide destruction. The Shire, however, would have some biological weapon and use it to kill off everyone who isn't a hobbit, and they would spread everywhere before overcrowding, and eventually using up all the food and oxygen in the world.

The End.


Don't you just love a happy ending? (or at least one without hobbitses, precious? :gollum: )


Epilogue:
It turned out that the hobbits never discovered Gollum's cave, and he came out and had the world to himself. Yay.

Then the Germans invaded Middle-earth using Blitzkrieg! :lol: And of course after that the Soviet army joined with the Moria Goblins and together they stormed the stronghold of Great Zimbabue. So the Hobbits joined the Germans and founded the 1st Hobbit Panzer division while chaos space marines landed in Valinor (WTF????). :roll:

After a while the cold-war started, with the secret police(eye of sauron and the cats of beruthiel)
and well, cause it was the cold war, the rangers of the north invented global warming(north is always cold). and the balrogs werent happy because of global warming they didnt have a jog anymore(they are flame-demons after all). so the balrogs werent happy and started to bomb everyone.


¬¬ *Goes to read the book*

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:57 pm 
Elven Warrior
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James isn't sure who to believe anymore, me or Tolkien....




And then a fleet of Castillian knights disembarks and begins a Reconquista in Harad, mistaking them for Moors....

Followed by William the Conqueror thinking that the Rohirrim are Anglo-Saxon....

And then a troupe of French soldiers gets lost in Mordor, see some Orcs and think "What the hey? Are they English?" (in French of course.)





I'd better delete my post, just to END THIS MADNESS!!!

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:58 pm 
Elven Warrior
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BaruKhazad wrote:
they didnt have a jog anymore


Do you mean job, or are they practicing for the upcoming City marathon? :lol:

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 8:06 pm 
Loremaster
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BaruKhazad wrote:
and well, cause it was the cold war, the rangers of the north invented global warming(north is always cold). and the balrogs werent happy because of global warming they didnt have a jog anymore(they are flame-demons after all). so the balrogs werent happy and started to bomb everyone.


So, wait...

The Rangers, a group of people tasked as protectors, and being at one with nature, invented global warming?

And the Balrogs, whom, as you yourself state, are Fire demons can't jog, obviously not because of the heat...

Could they not get proper running shoes no?

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:05 pm 
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Captain Ingold wrote:
James isn't sure who to believe anymore, me or Tolkien....

:roll:

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:12 pm 
Elven Warrior
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BaruKhazad wrote:
and the balrogs werent happy .... [later] so the balrogs werent happy

Eternal pessismists, are they?
gaarew wrote:
Could they not get proper running shoes no?

Unfortunately, no, John, as their feet are too large and instantly ignite footwear. And rubber boots just melt, causing severe burns. (and that's AFTER being on fire for an eternity)

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:31 pm 
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Captain Ingold wrote:
What ze hey? Are zhey Angliszh?"


Would be what you mean..
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:34 pm 
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Joansean wrote:
Captain Ingold wrote:
What ze hey? Are zhey Angliszh?"


Would be what you mean..


if we are gonna go for stereotypes, then I am gonna go for:

"whilst waving round baguettes, eating snails wearing berets" :-D

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 11:02 pm 
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And the Leman Russ battle tanks mistake the elves for heretics and blast the heck out of them.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 6:17 am 
Kinsman
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Captain Ingold wrote:
BaruKhazad wrote:
they didnt have a jog anymore


Do you mean job, or are they practicing for the upcoming City marathon? :lol:

i meant job:P

jogging would be fit to
the marathon of middle earth!
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 9:43 am 
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Captain Ingold wrote:

And then a troupe of French soldiers gets lost in Mordor, see some Orcs and think "What the hey? Are they English?" (in French of course.)

The french then surrendered? :P Or did Joan of Ark teamed with Napoleon and angry french catholics too smash the orcs and orks?


After all this Gates of Oblivion opened in Middle-Earth and Mehrunes Dagon invaded Minas Tirith, while mad football fans started drinking beers and beat each other in the local pub until when Stalin ordered the Imperial Guard Commisars to shoot any chaos knights that run too fast. (does this makes any [word deleted] sense?)
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 4:12 pm 
Elven Warrior
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Padelis of Numenor wrote:
Captain Ingold wrote:

And then a troupe of French soldiers gets lost in Mordor, see some Orcs and think "What the hey? Are they English?" (in French of course.)

The french then surrendered? :P Or did Joan of Ark teamed with Napoleon and angry french catholics too smash the orcs and orks?


After all this Gates of Oblivion opened in Middle-Earth and Mehrunes Dagon invaded Minas Tirith, while mad football fans started drinking beers and beat each other in the local pub until when Stalin ordered the Imperial Guard Commisars to shoot any chaos knights that run too fast. (does this makes any [word deleted] sense?)


In answer to your final question: NO.

Can someone pleeeease lock this thread? Before Gondor undergoes a Reformation?

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 4:17 pm 
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Captain Ingold wrote:
Can someone pleeeease lock this thread? Before Gondor undergoes a Reformation?


you really are one hypocrite drag of a member aren't you?
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 4:25 pm 
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reformtion? - like the stormtroopers in star wars? :P

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 8:03 pm 
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Joansean wrote:
Captain Ingold wrote:
Can someone pleeeease lock this thread? Before Gondor undergoes a Reformation?


you really are one hypocrite drag of a member aren't you?


Dude, don't sugar-coat it.


:wink:

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